GOING TO CHURCH
March 15, 2009 – 5:47 pmI’ve believed in God for as long as I can remember. God just seems to make sense to me. I look around and it seems entirely logical that a creative, powerful, and timeless force would be behind the science that has woven this world and all others together. I’ve never really thought anything other than that, never considered the possibility that God might be nothing more than a creation of mankind in order to answer the questions we cannot answer. I believe in God from beginning to end because the thought of a Godless world where we come from nothing and go to nothing seems bleak and empty to me. Life surely has to be about more than just making the rent, watching TV, sex, eating, and dying slowly.
I was criticized by a friend recently for not being more open and honest on this blog. She told me that, while interesting, the two previous posts read more like articles than the writings of someone who was trying to confront the most searching questions of God and faith.
At first I was a little disappointed at her appraisal because I had written both those posts hoping to engage readers, genuinely interested in their responses and how those responses might steer my thoughts. But I see what she meant. Neither post was written in a delving personal way that revealed anything of my search. They scratched the surface, but they didn’t particularly bleed truth.
The problem is that truth is hard. I’m writing this from where I am in life, and where I am feels further away from God than ever before. My belief hasn’t swayed but my understanding and my faith are in tatters and I’m not entirely comfortable revealing that I feel the question of God is now more murky for me than ever before.
In a little while, as it’s Sunday and I feel like I should make some kind of proactive stride in ‘God’s direction,’ I am going to attempt to go to church. I did a little research yesterday on what church I could go to, but even that process left me feeling somewhat bewildered and confused. I don’t understand the different denominations and how they relate to me. As an average non-church person I’m puzzled as to what all these different versions of the same thing mean and how they differ from one another.
To be honest, the prospect of even walking through the doors of a church is daunting to me; no it’s more than that, it’s terrifying. I’ve had terrible experiences at three different churches in the past and I’m currently thought of as some kind of relation to Satan by one small group of misguided happy clappers, many of whom have never actually met me or spoken to me!
Sadly, in my experience church people are among the most intolerant judgmental and impatient people I’ve ever met. They delight in your questions for a short while, but soon tire of you if you don’t quickly sit the fuck down and shut up with all your damn stupid questions. They come off as arrogant know-it-all’s who think they have the answer for everything, and if you don’t hurry up and get with the program then they would sooner you just took your doubt some place else thank you very much.
For me churches feel like clubhouses for the converted. They’re not welcoming, they’re not warm, and they’re not safe. They are by their very nature buildings full of religious people and that’s a problem when you’re someone who has an inherent distrust of religious people!
Walking into that kind of environment is about the single most uncomfortable thing you could ask me to do, yet ‘churchy folk’ just don’t seem to be able to get that through their thick heads. Asking me to come an sing songs to God then listen to some boring suit drone on for way too long while I sit on an uncomfortable chair is not the way to engage me. Sadly though, this seems to be the only way that Christians have to relate to me and the rest of the world. “Come to my church.” “My church is different.” “My church is friendly.” “You’ll like my church, the people are great.” – NO PEOPLE, I WON’T! DON’T YOU GET IT?!
The problem is that no, they don’t get it. For the religious people out there (and yes I appreciate many dislike the term ‘religious,’ but you are what you are) church is great. It’s their community, their safe haven, somewhere they like to go because it’s where they get to hang out with like minded people who all feel comfortable closing their eyes when they pray, wobbling their hands while they sing, or speaking in gobbledegook that is supposedly the language of angels or something?
For someone who isn’t used to this environment the whole thing seems a bit strange and not entirely comfortable. Jesus went out into the world and spoke with fishermen, hookers, and the everyday people on the street. I’m no expert, but I don’t think he went to church that often and one of the few times that I can recall he did was when he smashed the place up!
Jesus was controversial, outspoken, not religious, and unpopular with the church leaders of the day. I think I would get along with a guy like that.
So yeah, I don’t like church. You probably get that by now. But what else am I supposed to do? I believe in God but I want to take that belief and turn it into something more visceral, more real, something that I guess would qualify as a real faith. Honestly, as much as I am repelled by religious people who put their lives into the hands of an unseen God, I envy their ability to do so. I wish that I had the faith to be so fantastically brave. So as much as I despise and deplore the experience of stepping into a church and standing among people who have time and again rejected me, I’m going to try and do it again.
It’s Sunday evening and I’m going to church.
—
So how did it go? Click here to find out.
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By Anne on Mar 15, 2009 at 11:01 pm | Reply
Hey, you’re right, this does help me know more where you are right now. Thanks!
I’d ask how the church thing went, but I don’t know, maybe that’s not the right question. I guess if this was before you went, I’d have a suggestion or two. But I know that whenever I’ve gone to a new church I’ve felt awkward and out of place and it takes me a while to remember that God’s my focus, not the pews.
But, anyway, how was it?
By anna on Mar 16, 2009 at 5:47 am | Reply
Simon, I would say this post is pretty revealing. sadly, I can’t really disagree with a lot of your assessment about churches. Most really are pretty church-y. It’s not really the right approach to reach out to people who aren’t steeped in the tradition already. I know I’ve put my foot in it around here before, speaking too off-the-cuff on politics. But I felt like I would respond here to let you know that I appreciate your thoughtful posts on the topic. I don’t find your discussion offensive at all — It seems to me that it’s a good thing when anyone genuinely is trying to figure this whole thing out. (p.s., I hate visiting new churches too.)
By Simon Jones on Mar 17, 2009 at 6:46 pm | Reply
I failed.
I went to the church, parked my car and then sat there watching people walk in. I was waiting for there to be something of a lull, but then when there was one I sat there and waited for something else. I don’t know what.
I didn’t help that I saw a couple I recognized from that church that think I’m in league with Satan. They would recognize me, I knew that much, how would they react to me? Who knows. I decided to wait another couple of minutes until they were inside.
Maybe I could slip in at the back late, then slip out early? But come on, what would be the point in that? I might as well not bother if I’m going to do this ‘incognito’ I thought to myself. So I got out of my car walked up the path and then stopped just short of the main entrance, my heart beating fast in my chest.
You want honesty? Well okay then… I was nervous. Churches are bad places for me, and while I appreciate that this isn’t true in all cases I never saw the bad stuff coming the last three times so why in the hell should I feel anymore confident this time around?
A girl came walking down the path, and it struck me that it’s dark, there are overhanging trees and I am a guy in a dark jacket loitering at the door of some ancient church. This probably looks suspect, I thought to myself, so I put my cell phone to my ear and pretended to be listening to someone. She walked past and into the church without so much as glance at me.
A lady was stood by the door. She’s was the greeter I guess, probably nice enough, but not very helpful for me who was looking to slide into the building like James Bond on a mission for her majesties secret service.
I stood there for a while, just out of sight of the greeter lady and the late comers who were sat along the back row. Then as a piano started to play everyone stood to their feet. A perfect opportunity for me to move in unnoticed so I strode a few steps toward the door then retreated like a kid playing dare with the waves on a beach.
The people inside the brightly lit church began to sing, and I just stood there outside walking back and forth, pacing like the accused waiting for a jury to come to a decision.
This is so shit, I thought. I’ve come to church and I can’t even walk through the damn doors! I waited a few more moments then retreated back to my car where I sat for a couple of minutes feeling crappy that I had failed.
How do I find God without becoming religious? Are the two really inseparable? The Christians I know always seem to object to being called religious, but they are religious because it goes with the territory. Religious people hang around churches like drunks hang around bars, and while not everyone who regularly goes to a bar is a drunk, could it really be claimed that the people who regularly go to church aren’t religious?
I’m confused. I feel utterly conflicted about this, really embattled about the whole thing. What makes this all the harder is that there is nobody I know and trust that I could go to a church with either. Nobody to bounce these feelings off. I feel unsupported like a cop going to some kind of call without backup.
It’s a pretty lonely experience for me, and I won’t be repeating that again anytime soon.
By Todd on Mar 17, 2009 at 11:35 pm | Reply
Thanks for your comments… i confess that I am a part of the religious establishment. I am a “worship leader” at a large church. I am even a pastor. In fact, my church is one that focuses on the “un-churched” to try to connect and relate to them. Some regulars complain about it but it’s one thing we don’t feel we can compromise on. It puts me in a hard place though as the worship leader. How does one lead folks in an experience that is for believers and at the same time tries to connect with un-believers and seekers? Tall order.
Simon, if you were to design your own church service in the context of a Christian church or any church for that matter what would it look and feel like? What would they talk about? Who would be there? Would there be music or singing? If so, what would they sing about? Would it be like a family or community or a rock show with dim lights?
I have another question for you… What’s to stop you from taking what you HAVE found to be true about God and putting them immediately into practice in your life? It seems that you have this need to accept whatever it is that you are looking for in it’s entirety. Why not just start with what you know NOW and build upon that. Maybe you do.
I have many doubts and unanswered questions about a lot of things, but I still mostly believe in them. I see all kinds of things wrong with the church in general and also my home church, but I realize that a perfect church just isn’t out there anymore than a perfect family is. I am reminded of what someone said in scripture that was said directly to Jesus. “I do believe, but help my unbelief.”
Also, just for the record, Jesus was raised going to the temple (Jewish temple) very regularly apparently from an early age. He amazed the priests with his knowledge at the temple when he snuck off from his parents age of 12. The gospel accounts have him actually teaching in the temple and his followers called him “rabbi” or “teacher”. He also tore the place up with a whip when people turned church into a money making venture instead of a house of prayer.
By Matt Whaley on Mar 18, 2009 at 6:01 pm | Reply
Even as a Christian who has warm fuzzies about church, I’ve always hated going to new church by myself. It must be that much harder for someone who doesn’t have the same positive past relationship with the concept of church. Any chance of you finding a tolerable Christian friend to aide you in your quest?
By Simon Jones on Mar 19, 2009 at 2:11 am | Reply
You know Matt, would you believe I don’t have any Christian friends who live anywhere near me and the one person whom I would trust to come with me has already refused. So in this regard I find myself absolutely alone and therefore absolutely unlikely to try a stunt like that again for quite a while. I can’t tell you how frustrating that is for me. I feel like I am never, and will never, be a member of ‘the club.’ Most of the time I’m okay with that, but it’s hard to take when you’re trying to be bold you know?
Todd, to answer your question “If you were to design your own church service in the context of a Christian church or any church for that matter what would it look and feel like?” I’ve often thought about this and I’ve yet to come up with a church service that feels like anything other than a church service but I don’t think that’s the problem. Making church cool isn’t the answer.
Church for church people is fine. You go there, you sing songs, pray, listen to a suit, then greet all the people you know before going home. It’s a nice experience but it’s pretty alien to anyone who doesn’t do church. When else would we sing, pray, and listen to some suit drone on for too long?
I think that ‘the church’ needs to find a way to build a bridge between the clubhouse and the community it serves. Rather than expecting and inviting people to come to church why can’t the church maybe come to them, and I don’t mean in the usual tired old format of songs, prayer, and some suit talking for too long. I mean why not get out into the community and engage people, just talk to them. So rather than meeting at the club house, maybe have regular informal meet ups in coffee houses or wherever where you just hang out and get to know the people.
I’m not a churchy person so you’ll have to forgive my ignorance, but didn’t Jesus say “Go out and make disciples of all men.” I think the key phrase there is “Go out” and, if you ask me, I don’t think “make disciples” means “sell Jesus.” I think it means go out into the world and be different, be Christian, ‘represent.’
The Christian principles of truth, love and forgiveness are attractive, so couldn’t it be argued that the “make disciples” bit could just be a result of what happens when you’re out in the world being different, being -dare I say- Christian?
I like to meet people and bounce ideas around. I like to discuss and test things. In my experience Christians often misinterpret this as an attack on their faith. One Christian I know used to become very uncomfortable and combative whenever the subject of God and faith came up between us. Because of this we eventually ceased talking about the subject and sadly a wall was built where a bridge should have been. This isn’t uncommon, but unfortunately when you start building walls instead of bridges you create a them-and-us situation which doesn’t lead anywhere good.
I am willing to step onto a bridge, I’m less willing to start scaling a wall!
By Shane on Mar 19, 2009 at 5:00 am | Reply
Simon,
I really feel for your dilemma and wish that you did not feel so intolerably uncomfortable in church. I think that many of us can relate to what you are describing because we too have been “new” to a church at one time or another. I know that I have anyway.
Simon, I guess you perplex me a little bit, to be honest. We have spent time together outside the world of blogging and I would consider you my friend. Also, I genuinely don’t have any harsh judgmental feelings toward you no matter what you choose to believe or not believe. And yet it would appear, I am one of those religious folks that you seem to be so desperately frustrated with.
For me, it begs the question, what makes me (as an example) religious from your point of view? I do agree with much of what you have said about the institution of the church (church as an organization) and frankly do my best (humanly speaking) to follow Jesus example about “going out” beyond the walls of our community of faith. For example, I have many non-believing or diverse friendships that so not share my faith in Jesus Christ; and they really are friends, not projects or prospects. But here is the thing, I am not that unique as a follower of Christ. I know many people who have faith that also genuinely believe, feel, and act with the same convictions I just described of myself. Again, I would ask, what makes us religious from your point of view? Now, please do not misunderstand, I am not asking you this because I am personally offended nor am I fishing for you to affirm me in a superficial way. I am simply using myself as an example because you know me and I can only speak for myself. Also, I am trying to meet you where you are with the same measure of candor and vulnerability with which you have initiated this dialogue.
Maybe, I will start with that and see how you respond. Then maybe I can better help you (with others also) think about your faith journey with better perspective. Please understand, I am only interested in giving opinions because you seem to be genuinely asking for them.
Shane
By Anne on Mar 19, 2009 at 1:00 pm | Reply
Simon,
Now you are totally amazing me with your honesty. Somehow I really do feel that baring your fears and letting them into the sunlight is a step towards…something. And now I wonder something else…are you looking for a God who brings healing to a wounded soul?
Oh, that sounds funny. But in my pledge to post more, I will press “submit comment” anyhow, rather than not posting anything
By Simon Jones on Mar 20, 2009 at 4:27 pm | Reply
It’s funny to me that religious people often seem to get a little irked by the term. I’m using the word ‘religious’ as a term of fact. As in if you are a follower of a faith believing in a God then you are by definition a religious person. This is NOT an insult, but a simple use of the word as it is defined…
Definitions of the word ‘Religious’ on the Web:
* concerned with sacred matters or religion or the church; “religious texts”; “a member of a religious order”
* having or showing belief in and reverence for a deity; “a religious man”; “religious attitude”
* of or relating to clergy bound by monastic vows; “the religious or regular clergy conducts the service”
* scrupulously faithful; conscientious: religious care.
* pertaining to or connected with a monastic or religious order.
However, I do understand that the word has an air of negativity to it, and I guess that to some extent I may have been using the word to make a point. If you don’t like the word religious then ask yourself why. Now apply that to someone outside of your religious community and imagine how they must feel.
I will add that I am NOT trying to insult anyone here. I deeply admire, to the point of envy, those who have a real and meaningful faith in God.
By Shane on Mar 21, 2009 at 3:09 am | Reply
Simon,
Thanks for the response. This helps me understand your perspective a little better. And don’t worry, I am not “irked” by the use of the word “religious”. As I said in my last comment, I am not offended by the word.
I am only asking for clarification because I want to understand a little better. My goodness, in many ways I welcome the label. For example, one place in the scripture, it reads that “pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows”. So for me, if we defined it by that standard, I’d welcome you calling me religious any day of the week.
You see, for me, the word’s meaning is only as legitimate as the context in which it’s used. Unless I am misunderstanding, the context in which you use the word is included with other interesting words; words like “intolerant”, “judgmental”, “impatient”, “arrogant know-it-all’s”, etc. This of course is why I said that you perplex me. Because if the religious are all people who have faith in a God then by default I’m included in the “intolerant, judgmental, impatient, arrogant know-it-all” group. Then I wonder to myself, “boy, i sure didn’t mean to leave that impression on my friend Simon when we hung out the last time” Do you see my conundrum?
Simon,
You have used experience with “some christians” in “some churches” to define your entire experience. But it’s hard to swallow (as someone who knows you a little bit) because I know that you have had far more experiences with church people (religious people) then what you have represented in your post. That of course is your prerogative as the author and creator of a blog I suppose, but let me ask you a question. If you are genuinely searching for God and using “church people” as a reflection of who God might or might not be then shouldn’t you share the entire experience? Again, let me be clear, I’m not writing this because I feel offended. I am writing this because I want to challenge some of the presumptions being made here. I challenge the presumptions because I think that they may prevent you from finding the faith that have said you are seeking. I think that if you start choosing to see a distinction between the people that you think are legitimately more like Jesus and those that are not then you will be better for it and may even find what your looking for. I know that some church people have offended you. Others have not. Make a distinction between the two and search out the God of the ones that you think best fits the scriptures you are quoting.
I hope this helps and I truly want the best for you Simon!
Shane
By Simon Jones on Mar 21, 2009 at 3:21 pm | Reply
Hmm… Disclosure. You know Shane you got me thinking maybe I need to write a post about my experiences with Christians, good and bad. Maybe full disclosure is a requirement here if I am to write honestly from where I am today. But then here’s my issue with that – I don’t want to!
In all honesty despite the context of my experiences with Christians I am not sure I want to write a post about it, not least of all because I don’t want to carve the future out of the past.
I will say that I know many truly great people who happen to be Christians, people I count among my friends, people who also happen to be pastors, worship leaders, and the such. These people have provided a balance to my experience of religious people, and their influence has played a very big role in keeping me from simply abandoning any desire to seek God.
My good experiences with religious people far outweigh the bad ones. However, with my religious friends there is an element that is absent with those religious people I do not know, and that element is trust.
By FreeThinker on Mar 21, 2009 at 4:42 pm | Reply
Simon, my dear I am not in the least bit surprised that you couldn’t walk into that church. If others here agree that it is difficult to walk into a new church when you’re a Christian then I can only imagine how hard it must be to walk into a church when you have had painful experiences relating to church.
I know you question the idea of ’signs from God’ but could the fact that you felt so “utterly conflicted” and “embattled” actually be God speaking directly to your soul I wonder?
Forgive me for repeating what I have written before, but have you ever considered that the reason why you were uneasy about church is because your spirit knows that you won’t find anything there but more emptiness, confusion, and condemnation?
I commend your bravery at trying to go back to church, but Simon I think maybe you should try to listen closer to the messages that were being sent to you while you stood outside the door of that church. I am very happy that you didn’t venture inside because I believe if you had then your focus would have become confused and the message from God would have become muddled with the instructions of man.
I think your search for God is a great idea Simon, I really do, but I think you are confusing it with a search for religion. I would suggest that maybe God was speaking to you on Sunday, only you didn’t realize.
By Rachel on Mar 21, 2009 at 9:25 pm | Reply
Simon, I recommend going to a smaller church. There are churches that meet in houses and I think that’s a setting you’ve expressed to me before you may be able to handle better. If you would like a list of such places, I am happy to give them.
Freethinker, I think one thing I disagree with in your response is this idea of God leading him to not enter the church less he be confused by the instructions of man. Its possible God lead him to not enter the church, but I disagree with this on principle- I don’t believe that God would limit him in searching things out if he’s searching for the truth. I think that if someone is genuinely searching for God, then the teachings of man aren’t a threat to that search. I believe in one truth, and wherever that is gleaned or held there is value- even if its in a church. So there’s my thoughts on that… would love to hear yours as well.
By FreeThinker on Mar 24, 2009 at 7:35 pm | Reply
Well you know I only suggested that because there were some interesting responses to Simon’s previous post about how people hear God. As for the question of God leading Simon away from a church, well I don’t see that as entirely inconceivable. If God is all knowing then is it not possible that God could lead a person out of the way of danger? Who’s to say that there wasn’t some kind of danger in that situation?
I hope Simon won’t mind me changing the scene of this post a little when I ask you this. Imagine that he had experienced the very same feelings outside of a mosque that he was about to walk into. Do you suppose in that case God might be speaking to Simon?
By Cory on Mar 26, 2009 at 3:05 am | Reply
You know Simon, I think your observations about church are pretty accurate. The funny thing is that the church IS supposed to be a Christian clubhouse! You see the church is meant to be the place where Christians go in order to get help, teaching, and support from other Christians.
Some people might tell you it’s a place where Christians go to worship, but that’s not correct because the Christian life itself is supposed to be an ongoing act of worship everyday in everything. You hit that nail on the nail on the head when you wrote about ‘representing.’
Maybe FreeThinker and Rachel are both onto something when they suggest that a [big] church isn’t for you. Jesus said, ‘Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst.” So maybe you should ask God to help you find one of those people who is out there, as you put it, “representing.”
By Rachel on Mar 30, 2009 at 12:56 am | Reply
Freethinker, I think there’s an important distinction I need to make. I’m not sure if in your comments you are suggesting that he was drawn away from that particular church because that particular church may have been a little off, or that he may have been drawn away from all churches period. To me, that really changes the tone of the above two comments- and what I’m comprehending from your comment is that you meant it individually and then globally- ie. that particular church and then churches as a whole. Correct me if I’m wrong on this interpretation
.
I guess in general I think if someone is looking and honestly searching for God, God isn’t threatened by how or where someone looks. I think God respects people who really search to know Him. I actually suggested to Simon at one point to maybe try a synagogue or mosque first… it might be easier for him. To answer the above question, if he felt incredible fear about entering a mosque- I would probably first conclude that it was his own fears and not God leading him away. I think these are all things he needs to do and I don’t believe God shies away from the process that someone needs to go through to come to know Him.
To be clear, I will say that it is of course possible that God was leading him away from that particular church, but I think that would have more to do with maybe that particular church being hurtful than God leading him away from looking into the church as a whole… which is more what I picked up from the tone in your comments- but please correct me if I’m wrong.
Ha, So Simon thanks for allowing conversations like this to occur on your blog… as we somewhat analyze your situation and God’s designs on it… :-/ (something to think more about later…). Definitely appreciate your willingness to be open here.
By Mark Raggett on Apr 1, 2009 at 9:17 pm | Reply
Hey Simon,
I find it interesting, understandable, and very unfortunate that you associate the church with the Pharisees and the religious institutions of Jesus’ day. Surely one would expect the religion based on Jesus’ life, ministry and teaching and named after him to, at the very least, heed the criticisms he had of the religious people of his time? Jesus really shook things up and made waves in his society and the church is suppose to be the realization of those shake ups. Yet the criticisms of the Pharisees still seem incredibly relevant and Jesus’ message seems just as revolutionary.
My hope would be that people like yourself would read the gospels and associate Jesus and his disciples with the Church more than the Pharisees and the corruption in the Temple. That’s how Jesus decided to do it: him and twelve close friends, hanging out, learning, fishing, eating together and bringing the world some good news. Of course things get a little more complicated once Jesus heads back home but the New Testament is full of glimpses of the Church looking very little like the Pharisees.
NT Wright has a vision of the Church which I quite like:
“For many, “church” means just the opposite of that negative image. It’s a place of welcome and laughter, of healing and hope, of friends and family and justice and new life. It’s where the homeless drop in for a bowl of soup and the elderly stop by for a chat. It’s where one group is working to help drug addicts and another is campaigning for global justice. It’s where you’ll find people learning to pray, coming to faith, struggling with temptation, finding new purpose, and getting in touch with a new power to carry that purpose out. It’s where people bring their own small faith and discover, in getting together with others to worship the one true God, that the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. No church is like this all the time. But a remarkable number of churches are partly like that for quite a lot of the time.” – Simply Christian
Personally I feel blessed to be part of a Church that does look like that sometimes. But, like you basically said, if there is one thing worse than trying to sell Jesus it’s trying to sell your church.
My perception is that the path you are trying to take is: unclear belief in God -> a church (or mosque, synagogue etc.) -> nice clear idea of God. I think this is looking to the church for something it just isn’t capable of providing, even at its best. I would say the next step, at least on the Christian path, is Jesus: working out what you think of the accounts of his life, who he was and what his relationship with God was, what he said and what he challenges us to do. For me that gives me a better idea of who God is. Jesus then leads us to the Holy Spirit who gives us the grace, patience and motivation to try and put up with the Church. Now I don’t think this is something you have to necessarily do alone in a, “Come back when you agree with us” kind of way, instead perhaps you could include others in the journey. Talk to people who claim to have a clearer idea of who God is and work out where that idea comes from and why. The disciples were mostly fishermen who hung around a lot with a guy who claimed to have a clearer idea who God was and it seemed to work for them. Unfortunately you don’t have Jesus around but
As to the question of denominations: well I’ve waded in a little and I know a bit about the differences and where they come from so I can attempt to answer any questions. As to how it relates to you, well I guess the number of denominations should say that being a Christian doesn’t mean believing everything the guy next to you believes, but mostly they are just a distraction.
Anyway, I really enjoyed your post. Struggling to write the truth of where you actually are and how you actually feel is far superior to writing to try and engage people (and ironically more engaging) and I think the same principle can be applied to all “entertainment” included films, music (particularly Christian) and maybe even Churches.
By wookit on Apr 12, 2009 at 12:41 am | Reply
“Honestly, as much as I am repelled by religious people who put their lives into the hands of an unseen God, I envy their ability to do so. I wish that I had the faith to be so fantastically brave.”
Yesterday I got a phone call.. The caller ID said it was my boyfriends number, but when I answered it it was a strange voice who introduced herself as the medical examiner… Brain hemorrhage and my life is shattered. People who love me and mean well keep telling me to “Find strength in God.”… “He’s in a better place”… “You’ll be with him again someday.”
As much as I want to.. I don’t feel the loving arms of the God that I’ve tried so hard to have faith in.. I really wish I did. I want to.. But I just can’t believe anymore.